


Blame Cupid

by LadyKiwi



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Harley, F/F, Lesbian Pamela, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24863737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKiwi/pseuds/LadyKiwi
Summary: AU oneshot — Cupid comes up to Harley one day at school, he offers to shoot the girl she loves with one of his arrows, and Harley takes up his offer.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	Blame Cupid

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to take a short little break from writing my other fic, and I ended up doing this instead. It's hella random, I know, but it is what it is.

“YOU’RE ACTUALLY CUPID?” Harley exclaimed.

The teenage boy standing in front of her clamped his hand over her mouth, telling her to be quiet. After looking around the secluded hallway to make sure nobody was around, he turned back to the girl and slowly nodded his head.

“Then why are you creeping around the dark hallways of the school? You could literally have all the girls, or boys, all over you.” Harley grabbed the boy’s shoulders, shaking him as though it’ll knock some sense into him.

“Harley, was it?” He waited for her to nod her head. “I don’t think you understand how love works. It’s not something for you to manipulate, especially for popularity.”

“Ok, ok, so you don’t gotta be popular. But what about using it on the person you like? Surely you have a crush on someone.”

“I may be the god of love, but that doesn’t mean I, myself, have to be in love. We’re teenagers, most relationships now aren’t meant to be,” reasoned the boy, starting to regret revealing himself to the girl.

“Yeah, about that. I always thought you were supposed to be a baby, not an angsty teenage boy roaming the halls alone,” Harley wondered. She never felt so betrayed by mythical tales in her life.

“I don’t know who came up with that idea, but they were very wrong.” Cupid’s patience was quickly running out. He had a mission to complete, and the girl’s endless questions were preventing him from doing so. “Can we move on from this topic already? I didn’t just tell you my secret because I wanted to.”

“Fine. Whatcha wanna talk bout, Dr. Love?” She was leaning against the lockers with her arms crossed.

“Barbara Isley.”

“W-what about her?” Harley faltered, arms falling down to her sides.

“You love her.”

“What? No, I don’t. We’re just friends. Great friends. Best friends, actually. I don…I don’t love her.” She rambled.

The reality was, Harley has had a huge crush on her best friend since they first met.

It was the first day of freshman year, Harley was rushing to get to her Spanish class when she passed by the music room. There didn’t seem to be any class going on at the time, but she could hear someone singing along to a beautifully played piano, Harley found herself drawn in and stood outside the door to listen. Before Harley knew it, the bell rang, signaling that she was late for class. Just as she was about to leave, a girl walked out of the music room. She was holding a book about plant life, which fascinated Harley as she’s a big activist for saving the environment. They introduced themselves, and Harley learned that her name was Barbara Isley. They’ve been best friends ever since.

Now it was junior year, and Harley still hadn’t voiced her feelings to the girl.

Cupid raised his eyebrow at her. He really wasn’t buying it. “I’m cupid. I, out of anyone, should know when a person is in love.”

“Okay fine, I really really like her,” Harley admitted. “So…are we like soulmates?”

“I’m not telling you anything, Harley.”

“Then why are you talking to me?” Harley yelled out in confusion. She couldn’t think of any other reason for him to be talking to her.

“I’m here to make an offer. I—”

“Nope. Not interested. Thank you, but no thank you.” Harley interjected.

“You didn’t even hear what I had to say. I was offering to shoot her with a love arrow.”

“Oh, sorry, I thought ya wanted to do stuff,” Harley said, embarrassed.

The boy was shaking his head. He couldn’t understand what was up with people these days, life isn’t all about sexual pleasure, but people sure seem to act like it was.

“Why would you do that? Isn’t there some kind of god law against offering to shoot people?” She was shocked by his offer.

“Nah. And I’m only doing this because I hate looking at helpless, in-love teens being oblivious.”

Harley wasn’t sure if she should’ve been offended. “I’m not helpless.”

“So what do you say?” he asked, ignoring her comment.

“I don’t know…it kinda feels like I’d be making her fall in love with me unwillingly.”

“Just trust me on this,” Cupid offered her a small smile.  
  
“Can I take some time to think about it?”

“Sure”

\-----XxX-----

Today was the day.

After a long week of thinking, Harley finally decided to accept Cupid’s offer. She texted him the previous day and they spent that evening in a coffee shop creating a plan.

Harley was walking to the cafeteria table she and her friends usually sat at for lunch. As she looked to her right, she saw Cupid in line for the cafeteria food. He glanced her way and gave her a wink.

_It’s now or never._

“Hey, guys,” she chirped as she went to sit down in the seat across Barbara.

“Quinzel,” Pamela Isley, Barbara’s older sister, greeted from beside Barbara.

“Isley,” Harley said back to her, sending the girl a playful wink.

Though Pamela was a senior, she and her sister were nearly inseparable. Consequently, this led to the two sisters having many of the same friends. Harley included. However, Harley and Pamela weren’t very close. It’s not that Pamela wasn’t a great person, because she was, but Harley just didn’t find her to be very interesting. Neither of them shared any of the same interests or hobbies, so naturally, they never hung out without any of their other friends around.

“Hey, have you guys seen…”

Harley was aware of Selina talking next to her, but the beating in her chest was drowning out the voice. It was a rare occurrence whenever Harley would be nervous, anxious, or even scared, but that was all she was feeling at this moment.

Looking back at the cafeteria line, she could see Cupid talking to the cafeteria lady. When their eyes met, he gave her a small nod, signaling it was time to go through with the plan.

“Hey, everybody!” Harley screamed, capturing all the student’s attention.

She pulled out a bluetooth speaker from her backpack, placed it down on the cafeteria table in front of her, and stepped on top of the table. As she pulled her phone out of her pocket, Harley swiped through her list of songs until she found the one she wanted.

Screams and cheers echoed throughout the room as the students heard “Macarena” blasting from Harley’s speaker, and Harley herself started dancing along.

Some students joined in on doing the macarena, which Harley was grateful for, while others cheered and watched. All in all, it turned out to be much less embarrassing for Harley. In fact, she found herself enjoying the moment and the new atmosphere in the room.

Harley looked down to see Barbara cheering and laughing while watching her, just as she wanted. As she turned her attention to Cupid, he was pulling back his arrow. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion for Harley as soon as the arrow was released, moving fast toward her table.

Before she knew it, Harley was being pushed off the table and was landing on the ground with a thud.

“What the fuck, Pam!” Harley heard Selina scream.

As she sat up from the ground, she noticed that everyone had stopped cheering, and the room was now silent. Everyone was looking at an angry Pamela, who was glaring at her with a look of pure hatred in her eyes.

Standing up to her feet, Harley opened her mouth to ask what was wrong. But before she could, a bowl of pasta was dumped over her head.

“Pamela, what is wrong with you?” Barabara scolded her sister, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the cafeteria, Bruce and Diana following behind them.

“Harley, are you o—”

“Hold that thought,” she blurted out, cutting off Selina.

She rushed straight towards Cupid, took him by the upper arm, and pulled him out into the hallway, and into the nearest janitor’s closet.

“What just happened?” Harley shouted, still confused over the recent events.

“I shot Pamela with my arrow,” the boy replied nonchalantly with a shrug of his shoulders.

“No kidding,” Harley retorted, She was beyond pissed. “You shot the wrong person!”

“No. I shot the right person.”

“What do you mean? You didn’t shoot the right person.” Harley was more confused than before, everything the boy was saying didn’t make any sense to her.

“No, I meant to shoot Pamela.”

“Why?”

“When a person is shot with one of my arrows and is looking at someone they love, then their love turns to hate,” Cupid tried to explain, hoping the girl got the hint.

“Okay, and?” To say Harley was frustrated was an understatement, she was upset and confused, and all because she agreed to let Cupid shoot a stupid arrow.

“Pamela. She hates you.”

“I could tell. She pushed me off… Oh.” Harley stopped mid-sentence, finally catching on to what Cupid was meaning. “But how? Why? What?”

Cupid shook his head at the girl. “I’m Cupid, remember? I know things nobody else does.”

“How am I in love with Pamela? I don’t feel any connection to her whatsoever, not to mention she hates me now.”

“You two might not feel that way now, but love finds a way, Harley.”

Without another word, Cupid opened the closet door and walked away like nothing ever happened.

\-----XxX-----

“So Cupid’s a teenage boy? I thought he was a baby,” Arthur questioned.

“I know, right? So did I. But that’s not the point here! I found my true love, but I don’t love her, and she hates me.” Harley groaned as she paced around.

“I mean…Cupid knows his shit,” Selina said from beside Arthur.

Harley turned to her friend and gave an angry glare. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I swear to god you’re the most oblivious person ever. Pam is practically the heart eyes emoji when she looks at you, and she’s exactly your type.”

“Selina, dear…you’re delusional,” Harley coyly said, placing a hand on Selina’s shoulder only for it to be slapped away.

“If I’m delusional, then that makes you psychotic,” said Selina.

“I actually agree with Selina,” Arthur declared, gaining both of the girls’ attention. “Pamela seems perfect for you, and you for her.”

“You both are off your rockers. Pammy and I have nothing in common.”

“That’s not true, and even if it is, have you heard of the term opposites attract?” Selina countered.

“Okay, then we’re just opposites that don’t attract,” Harley said a little too loudly, raising her arms and bringing them back down in frustration.

“Tell me, what about Barbara has you head over heels for her?”

“You know, she’s creative, talented, smart, ambitious, cares for the environment, and she’s passionate about the things she stands for.”

Arthur and Selina shared a look before turning their attention back to their friend.

“Harley, you just described Pam,” Selina pointed out.

“Actually, the ambitious part is more Barbara’s thing than Pam’s,” Arthur commented.

“Okay, true. But everything else though, that’s the exact definition of Pamela Isley,” Selina said back.

“No, it’s not. I like Barbs, not Pam,” Harley said, interrupting their side conversation.

Selina only rolled her eyes in disbelief. “Whatever floats your boat.”

Just as Harley opened her mouth to continue arguing with her two friends, the bell rang through the halls, signaling lunch break was over.

School passed by agonizingly slow for Harley. Some people were talking about her stunt, which she was fine with, but there were the few who spoke badly about Pamela. And Harley, never being the person to condone bullying or talking behind people’s backs, gave them all a piece of her mind.

When school was finally over, she rushed to Barbara’s locker. Harley owed the girl an explanation for what happened earlier.

“Hey, Barbs, do you got anything important going on? I wanted to talk to you,” Harley called out to the girl opening her locker.

Barbara looked up to see Harley standing next to her. “I was just going to head straight home, so sure. We can talk.”

“Your place or mine?” Harley asked.

“How about my place? It’s been a while since you last came over, and my mom is missing your presence.”

Grabbing the girl’s bag and carrying it for her, Harley made their way out the school with Barbara by her side.

\-----XxX-----

As soon as the two girls walked through the doors, Barbara’s mother went straight towards Harley to offer her a hug.

“Harley, dear, it’s been too long.”

“Sorry bout that Mrs. Isley. I got busy with some…stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it, Hun. I made cookies if you want any. They’re in the kitchen,” Mrs. Isley told them before making her way to the living room to continue watching the newest episode of The Bachelor.

“Come one. We can talk upstairs in my room,” Barbara said as she took Harley’s hand and led her up the stairs.

As Harley and Barbara sat down on the bed, an awkward silence filled the room. Neither knew how to start the conversation. Barbara looked to be trying to find the right words to say, but Harley wasn’t the type of person to take their time articulating their words.

“I had Cupid shoot your sister with a love arrow,” Harley blurted out.

To say Barbara was shocked was an understatement. Her jaw looked like it would fall to the floor, and her eyes were wide as though she just saw an alien pass by.

“Excuse me,” Barbara cleared her throat, confusion was written all over her face. “Did you just say Cupid shot my sister with a love arrow? As in the little baby in a diaper that makes people fall in love with each other?”

“Yes, no, it’s complicated,” Harley struggled to explain. “He’s actually that creepy teenage boy who wanders the halls in school. You know, the one that seems really lonely and emo.”

“You must have hit your head when you fell,” Barbara said as she quickly sat up to look for any visible head injuries on Harley.

Swatting away the other girl’s hands, Harley placed her hands on Barbara’s shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. “I’m telling the truth, he really did.”

“Okay then, why would you have Cupid shoot my sister?” Barbara asked, finally taking Harley’s words seriously. She didn’t completely believe her, but it didn’t seem like Harley was going to let this go anytime soon.

“It wasn’t meant for her,” Harley began, taking a deep breath and lowering her head to look at her lap. “It was meant for you.”

If Barbara was trying to hide her shock, she was doing a bad job doing so. “I’m sorry, but you lost me.”

“I like you…A lot.”

Barbara didn’t say anything, so Harley continued.

“Cupid told me he’d shoot you so you’d love me, and I know that sounds desperate and selfish, but I’m just a wimp that can’t confront her crush about her feelings,” Harley rambled, getting a bit off topic.

“Anyway, it turns out that he was tricking me. According to the laws of love or whatever, I’m supposed to be with your sister. So instead of shooting you, he shot Pam,” she explained.

“If he shot Pam, then isn’t she supposed to be in love with you?” Barbara asked, still doubting Harley’s story.

“Yeah, about that. Apparently, if a person who is already in love gets shot, then their love turns to hate,” Harley said, scratching the back of her neck.

“Makes sense, I guess.”

“You knew she liked me?” Harley looked dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe everyone knew but her.

“I’m her sister. If anyone was to know, it would be me,” Barbara shrugged. “Also, it’s not like she was good at hiding it.”

“And I’m flattered that you like me, but I don’t like girls that way,” Barbara added.

Harley’s jaw dropped a bit. This was news to her.

“What? I thought you were gay. You literally ran a whole ass rainbow covered booth at Pride last year! A-and what about all the gay activism stuff all over your room.”

“Oh, Harley, that was all Pamela. The booth at Pride was her’s. She was busy with some environmental program, so I offered to run the booth for her that day,” Barbara chuckled.

“And all this LGBT activist stuff all came from her too. Pam sometimes leaves her stuff here after a protest or fundraising for her campaign. Don’t get me wrong, I love the community, and I support everyone who’s a part of it, but I’m not much of the ‘go out and protest’ type.”

“I didn’t even know you liked boys,” Harley told her, a bit embarrassed. “You never showed much of an interest.”

“That’s just because I don’t drool over them like other people do,” Barbara rolled her eyes.

Harley only nodded. She was still trying to figure out an appropriate reaction to finding out her crush is straight.

She let out a small cough to break the awkward tension, which was mostly on her part, Barbara seemed completely fine. “So, where is she now?”

Barabara looked down at the watch on her wrist before looking back at her. “Pam should be at her piano class right now.”

“I didn’t know she took piano classes.”

“She doesn’t. She teaches the lessons,” Barbara clarified.

“Damn, it must be nice having two creative kids in the house,” Harley commented.

She could only imagine how proud their parents must be. She and her brother were possibly the least musically gifted people out there, and those were the words of her own mother.

“Oh god, Harley,” Barbara said as she busted out laughing. “I may be good at many things, but music is definitely not part of that list.”

“What? I literally met you outside the school’s music room.”

Harley felt as though her life was just some sick joke. First, she found out that her soulmate was the sister of her crush, then her supposed soulmate became her number one hater, and now she’s finding out that her crush was not exactly who she thought she was.

“Oh! That was Pam. I went to meet up with her between my classes,” Barbara told her in an amused tone, finding the betrayed and shocked look on Harley’s face hilarious.

“What about the singing?”

“That was also Pam.”

“The plant book?”

The question stumped her for a moment, but she soon realized what Harley was talking about. “That was Pam’s. I’m not much of a book worm. Also, she’s the one who’s really into botan—”

“What the actual FUCK?” Harley exclaimed, standing to her feet.

Quickly, she ran out of the room and down the stairs. She heard Mrs. Isley call her name but she was out the front door before she could finish her sentence.

Harley ran straight home, only stopping to pet the dogs she passed by on the street.

As she plopped down on her bed, she felt the day’s earlier events hit like a tidal wave. There were many things for her to think about.

She thought back to the day she first met Barbara. When she heard the piano play a beautiful melody, and a lovely voice singing along, she instantly felt a connection. And then that feeling only intensified when she saw Barbara walk out of the music room with a book about plant life.

For the majority of Harley’s life, she felt alone. Her parents did nothing but argue and show little to no care for her and her brother, and when she started going to school, all the other kids thought she was weird and never wanted to play with her. It saddened her, but music soon became a way for Harley to cope with her issues. Music helped her to relax and feel connected with the world, and even when her parents got divorced and she started to make her own friends in high school, her love for music never went away.

Just like music, nature was a getaway from reality for her. Every time she needed a break from her home, or from any crowded areas, she would play in the forest next to her house. Other kids always said there were bears and wolves lurking in there, but that never stopped Harley. Sometimes, she even spent nights sleeping in the treehouse she had built deep in the forest because the sound of rustling trees and the speckles of stars in the night sky brought her mind to ease.

Letting out a big huff of air, Harley flipped over to faceplant in her pillow. The more she thought about it, the less she liked Barbara—romantically, of course—and the more she wished she had met Pamela first. Barbara had a great personality, and Harley got along with her well, but the initial attraction Harley felt wasn’t there anymore.

But she couldn’t go back in time and change things, no matter how much she wanted to, and it was too late now to act as though nothing had happened.

After some hard thinking, Harley decided it was time to take action in her life, and so she started to create a plan to do just that. She laid in bed for a while longer coming up with ideas to fix her problem. And when she finished writing down her plans in a notebook, she went back downstairs to continue her evening as she usually did.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day. She just knew it.

\-----XxX-----

The group of friends were all sitting together at their usual table when Harley entered the cafeteria. Selina and Bruce were making out, Diana and Pamela were talking about eco-club stuff, Barbara was on her phone, and Arthur was shoving food down his throat like his life depended on it.

As Harley made her way to them, she could see the death glare Pamela was giving her, and everyone else at the table stopped what they were doing to nervously watch how things unfolded.

“Hey, Pammy. Mind if we talk?” Harley asked the redhead with as much confidence she could fake, which wasn’t much since she still took a gulp when the girl looked at her as though she wanted to punch her in the face.

Pamela was clenching her jaw and looked like she was holding back from bursting out in anger, but she nodded her head anyway.

Harley walked off to an empty corner of the cafeteria with Pamela following close behind. When the two were alone, Harley spun around to face the other girl.

“So…I found out the day that you like me.”

“Liked,” Pamela spoke, emphasizing the “d”. “Past tense. I don’t anymore.”

Already, this was going much worse than Harley had planned. The elaborate plan she came up with the other day slipped from her mind, leaving her no choice but to wing it.

“But why?” Harley asked, genuinely curious about what her reason was. She was hoping Pamela didn’t find out about the cupid fiasco.

“I-I…I just do, okay?” Pamela defended herself as she got frustrated for not coming up with an excuse.

“That kinda sucks. I wanted to give us a try,” Harley looked her in the eyes, searching for any feeling other than anger or hatred.

“Too bad, I don’t want to.”

“Are you sure though? I’m not that bad.”

She was starting to panic. Things felt like they were turning around on her and she was now having to defend herself rather than being the one making the moves.

She wasn’t sure what to do, but just as she was about to retreat, an idea quickly came to her mind.

“I highly doubt tha—”

Before processing the possible outcomes of the action, she took a step closer to Pamela and pressed her lips to hers.

Pamela’s lips were soft and felt perfect against hers, and when Pamela started to kiss back, Harley felt like she went to heaven.

When the two pulled apart for some much needed air, Harley and Pamela stared at each other with wide eyes.

“You kissed me,” Pamela spoke softly, still a little bit shocked.

“You kissed me back,” Harley acknowledged.

Pamela was the one who broke them out of their haze when she started to apologize. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry for how I was acting, especially for what I did yesterday. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Don’t worry about it. You have nothing to apologize for,” Harley said as held her hands in her own, calming the girl down. “It was kind of my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll tell you some other time,” Harley shook her head.

After a short moment of silence, Pamela decided to speak first. “About what you just said, do you really want to give us a try? ”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Harley said, nodding. “So what do ya say? Will you go out on a date with me?”

Instead of replying with words, Pamela pulled her in for a short kiss.

“Was that a good enough answer?”

“Not quite. I’m still not sure if that was a yes or no.”

Rolling her eyes, Pamela leaned in to plant a long and passionate kiss on her.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”


End file.
